How to Better Manage Your Anxiety Using Fear Planning
I don’t know about you, but I tend to think in absolutes, especially when I am afraid to make a big decision in my life. I use words like “always” and “never” and think it’s either A or B and there are no options in between. According to a 2018 Study, this is a common trait for people who struggle with anxiety and depression - they tend to speak in more “absolute language” compared to a control group. And, also related, a second study found black and white thinking is very present when people are struggling with anxiety. And of course this “all-or-nothing” thinking causes my mind to ruminate, making me feel more anxious.
Can you relate?
If so, today’s blog is for you! I’m going to walk you through a cognitive technique called “Fear Planning” from Tim Ferris that will help you think through your fears and anxieties in a way that will reduce your anxiety and give you the confidence you need to make better decisions for your life.
What is Fear Planning?
When you are caught in anxiety, your Prefrontal Cortex shuts down and your emotional center, the Amygdala, takes over. This fight, flight, freeze or faint mode is all about doing whatever it takes for self preservation. However, as soon as we can become more aware of our fear, our Prefrontal Cortex turns back on and we create a shift from emotionally reacting to actually being able to think it through.
According to Tim Ferris in his 2017 Ted Talk, Fear Planning is an operating system based on Stoicism that allows you to thrive in high stress environments and make better decisions. The main goal is to train yourself to separate what you can control from what you can’t control and then do exercises around what you can control. And since, as humans, we have a built-in negativity bias, this technique focuses toward leaning into your fears while only conservatively thinking through the positives so that your brain stays engaged and doesn’t freak out! This framework is a technique that moves you from emotionally reacting to being able to think things through in an organized and cognitive manner.
The Three Steps to Fear Planning
Step 1: Play up your fears and vet all the possible scenarios.
Instead of letting your mind ruminate through each scenario over and over again, it can be really helpful to write them down. I would encourage you to grab a piece of paper and a pen and get every single scenario you can think of down on paper. Sometimes just getting the thoughts out of your head and in black-and-white can be really helpful.
So first ask yourself, “What if I…”. Write down what you are afraid to do and list out all the possible worst case scenarios.
Right now I am afraid to Go Live more on social media. I don’t know if doing it will grow my audience and help me reach and support more people, or if it will flop and become a giant waste of my time. So, I asked myself, “What are the worst case scenarios that could happen if I do decide to Go Live on social media?” As an example, a few of the answers are:
What if I Go Live and no one shows up?
What if I Go Live and fumble with words, making me look like I don’t know what I’m talking about?
What if I Go Live and my message just doesn’t resonate with people?
Once you ask “What if I…” really spend some time exhausting your worst case scenario list.
Then, ask yourself, “What can I do to prevent each of these worst case scenarios from happening?” In other words, is there something I can do ahead of time to avoid this situation from occurring? If I take each of the above scenarios, maybe I could:
Pick a consistent time to Go Live each week and promote the schedule to my followers on a regular basis so they know and can remember to join me during the Live event.
Write out my talking points for each Live and practice, practice, practice before going Live until I feel comfortable with my message and my delivery.
Ask my followers what advice or guidance they need to hear from me and focus my topics on answering their questions.
It is incredibly calming to realize there are behaviors and actions I can take in order to reduce my own anxiety!
Finally, ask yourself “If this worst case scenario were to happen, what can I do to correct it? In my example I could:
Reframe the issue and remember that all Live videos are posted to the feed later so people can watch at a different time.
Take a pause and share that I just need to take a peek at my notes to make sure I touch on all the points I want to make. This will help me slow down and gather my thoughts. And, afterwards, I could go back and watch the recording in order to take notes on areas I could improve.
Remember that even if I help one person with my message, that’s one more I helped than if I didn’t Go Live at all.
Step 2: Conservatively look at the positive side of the situation.
In this step you want to ease into the positive side of your “What if” scenario. Ask the question, “What might be the benefits of an attempt or partial success?” In my example, some benefits might include:
My audience might grow, and therefore I’ll be able to help more people.
The larger my audience, the more opportunity to sell my services and financially grow my business.
I will improve my speaking skills each time I Go Live
I will feel more confident in my messaging
I will believe in myself more
Step 3: Consider the cost of inaction.
As humans we tend to only consider what might go wrong if we try something new. We don’t often consider the cost of status quo - not changing anything. And this might be the most important question of all. Ask yourself, “If I avoid/don’t take action, what will my life look like in the near future?” In my example, I might answer:
I will help less people because they won’t hear what I have to say, which would lead to more anxiety in their life.
I won’t say yes to more speaking engagements because I won’t have the skills or confidence.
I might need to shut down my business if I don’t meet my financial goals.
Finally, look back on all the information you’ve just gathered and weigh the outcome. What are the positive and negative impacts and how much does one out-weigh the other? The decision that will be best for you tends to become very clear when you can slow down and really think it through.
So there you have it! Now you have the steps you need to reduce your anxiety and break down your fears into digestible, understandable steps. This entire process is about putting your fears under a microscope. And although I know that can be extremely difficult, it’s usually the difficult decisions we make in life that help move us forward.